Being Real.

I’m guilty of it.

Wish it wasn’t true, but yes, I’ve done it.

When you have a gift in building relationships, it’s easy to manipulate them.

In my early career, I didn’t think as carefully about this as I do now.

But thankfully with age comes wisdom and experience.

Three years ago, a personalized connection request hit my inbox via LinkedIn. The Vice President of a very well-known talent management / recruiting company was looking to connect so he could source talented interior designers with corporate facilities experience and to learn about the “who’s who” in the Chicago Market.

My response:

Hi,

Corporate and facility are two different entities in terms of experience within architecture.  Is it that the company wants someone with corporate interiors?  Or facilities experience?

As you've probably seen from my profile, architecture was my first career, so I'm connected to and know many people in the industry.

I may be able to help you, but I need to know more.  I care a lot about relationships, and the main reason I went into the space of executive recruiting within my home turf is because it has been done so poorly in the past.  (I was recruited before, too. LOL)

So with that, I'd propose a quick chat between the two of us.  Let me know a good time for you tomorrow or Wednesday for a phone call.

Thanks,

Michelle 

I still remember our conversation. I grilled him a bit first. When I realized he cared as much as I did about the candidate experience, I was thrilled to pass along the names of quality professionals I knew were confidentially open to a new opportunity.

Several months later in our catch-up call, we got a chance to commiserate on both recruiting talent from and working with the design industry.

Listen, I love y’all from my old days of architecture, but let me just say:

“Speed in hiring is needed in a difficult talent market!” Lord Have Mercy!

(Someone in recruiting say, Amen!)

His team made the placement, by the way.

This same relationship that was birthed out of a need by one side, yielded a kindred spirit in how recruiting is done and a respect for the things that matter in life: faith, family, and walking out our purpose on this earth.

Fast forward three years to the exact month and I was making a call to this same colleague. Now he was President of his own company.

I needed something now.

My request for insider intel from the recruiting market was met with his wisdom and insights.

So what’s the main take-away:

I invested three years — that’s thirty-six months… or one thousand ninety-five days into a professional relationship before I asked for something in return.

Of course, we didn’t connect every day. It was approximately once per quarter or sometimes our touch-points spanned six months. But the key is that we stayed in touch!

When I flipped my mindset and heart about ten years ago to understand that networking is about building relationships, it was so easy to reach out when I had my own need.

My heart aches in the job market when so many won’t network because they hate doing it. Yet 70-85% of jobs are filled through networking. (Source) 

Is it possible that you are seeing this through the lens of “transaction” vs. “relationship.”

I understand that three years is a long time.

I also understand the exponential speed of return on time investment where a thirty-minute phone call produced valuable data so I could make critical professional decisions. And I didn’t have to start this call with a bunch of “small talk.”

If our jobs are important to us… 

And we deeply know that level of importance when we go through a lay-off…

Then shouldn’t it be important for us to nurture and build something that could help in such a critical time in our lives?

When I stopped seeing relationships as what I could get from them and looked at how I could help them… it was a game-changer.

One very practical way to implement change in your networking efforts is to pick one person who is a good colleague of yours, and schedule quarterly or twice yearly check-in meetings on your calendar.

Who is the person that you need to pencil in the catch-up time? 

Your minimal time investment now has the power to yield massive returns when you need it most.